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Binders Full of Women: Collecting All the Ladycards in The Witcher – part 9

September 19, 2014

Princess Adda: Fiends with Benefits

The final part of our epic fuckquest : part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8. Today’s nicknames for Geralt are brought to you by the List of Final Fantasy Villains.

 

It’s been a long, hard, dick-joke strewn journey, but our binder is finally filled with women. Whether human or monster, we have plunged our swords into everything that we possibly can. What now? I’ve come to a few conclusions, some negative, but there are also plenty of things that were actually handled better than I feared.

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Binders Full of Women: Collecting All the Ladycards in The Witcher – part 8

September 17, 2014

Previously on Ladycards: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7.

 

It’s Chapter 5, the final chapter, and these are lean times for ladyhunters. Not only are there just three cards left to get in the game, each playthrough only allows you to get one of them! I’ve been following the questline that aligns you with the non-humans, so I am tragically only capable of witnessing the following lay in its full interactive glory. No, I am not playing through 50+ hours again (twice!) just for sexcards. Even I have my limits.

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Binders Full of Women: Collecting All the Ladycards in The Witcher – part 7

September 13, 2014

Previously on Ladycards: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6.

 

They have a very sexy cow in Murky Waters, the tiny, rural village you find yourself in for the duration of Chapter 4. The peasants are devoted to their cow, and dedicate themselves to her every need, guarding her jealously and evangelising about her voluptuous udder. They seem to take less care of their daughters, who keep wandering off and getting killed. Quick, better screw some of them first!

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Binders Full of Women: Collecting All the Ladycards in The Witcher – part 6

September 11, 2014

Previously on Ladycards: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5.

I was hoping I’d seen the last of that horrendous moppet Little Alvin, but no. Turns out he’s important. Plot-wise, in that he’s a magical vortex or something, but also sex-wise, in that you can use him as a bribe so that women will sleep with you!

Stuck for what to get her for her birthday? Try a creepy psychic urchin! She’ll be banging your socks off in minutes.

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Binders Full of Women: Collecting All the Ladycards in The Witcher – part 5

August 30, 2014

Part 5 of my terrifying trip through The Witcher’s sexual shenanigans. See also: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4.

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Binders Full of Women: Collecting All the Ladycards in The Witcher – part 4

August 27, 2014

My continuing unerotic odyssey through The Witcher: part 1, part 2, part 3.

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Binders Full of Women: Collecting All the Ladycards in The Witcher – part 3

August 24, 2014

Part 3 of an ongoing series – part 1, part 2.

Wotcha, witcherwatchers! Exciting news! Gerund has finally managed a non-squicky sexual encounter! I’m not sure I’d go so far as calling it sexy, but one step at a time, eh?

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